i think i hate my website

i'm having one of my moments.

i make changes around here every day. a lot of minor stuff mainly, but occasionally the inspiration strikes and i make something actually big and new (whether i finish or not, however, is a different story.) some of my stuff manages to fit pretty seemlessly into its surroundings, as if it was always going to be a part of the continuing story. but other stuff sticks out like a sore thumb. (why did i put *that there?*). most of the time i open my website tab, chuckle, and pat myself on the back about how fun it is doing it, how glad i am for having it. but other times i load up the site and despair. what does any of this *mean?* pity the old man who still identifies as a web developer even though his skills expired a decade ago.

but, let's assume for a moment that my stuff isn't that bad, then there's the question of how to tell people about it. does anyone really need to know? or want to know? is any of this stuff important enough to publish an update about it? all this talk about my website being "only for me" is obviously hyperbolic. the truth is i *love it* when people look at my stuff. the thrill of a link back! the "wait, is that..." moment of spotting one of my buttons in the wild.

fairly early on i set-up my RSS feed, but who knows if anyone is reading it? i put updates on there when i can. when the piece is big enough and almost-complete enough to share. but most things don't fit the criteria. my work doesn't happen in discrete units. you can show people around a garden, but you don't announce every seed sown.

then i realised that i love reading weekly-update type posts from other people. not necessarily complete blog articles. just notes about *how it's going*, what's new today? that's probably what i should be doing, but do i have the energy (more importantly, the mental capacity) to do it in a coherent way? am i promising myself too much? setting myself up for another major disappointment?